The Universal Times

bringing the news to your galaxy


Today in the galaxy, business skyrocketed. Here is an example
of the charts from the Department of Flying Motor Vehicles.


Rockets Sold Each Day

Day 1Day 2Day 3Day 4Day 5
2326332951

Rocket Reviews

the favorite rocket of T.R.G. was rocket Fj56 34% of aliens agreed with him
the favorite of R.F.L. was rocket KBB74 16% of aliens agreed with her
the favorite of D.G.K. was rocket BT101 50% of aliens agreed with him

none of those interviewed liked rocket yer534k




J.K.Bobelo, 1st to land on the countertop of an earthling.


D.G.K. in action, driving the BT101, his favorite.


Newest vehicle bound skyward.


Newest line of flying saucers.


Saturday, at a national convention, the greatest minds of Saturn and Her Rings gathered. Famous politician Francois the Third questioned authority and spoke out against Saturn's government. "We want freedom and independence on Saturn's Rings!" he demanded furiously. "The government has been hoarding money for too long. Cut the taxes!" Many economic strategists agreed with him. "The government is a democracy, but it acts as a dictatorship. That needs to stop! All civilians need a bigger piece of the pie. We must revolt!"

Francois debating at the meeting Saturday.







Advertisements

:-(

Lonely? Bored? Need someone to talk to? Chat with Chad online using I.T. (instant talk)! Chad will put you in the spotlight

:-)


"I tell you cousin, if you want good rocket insurance and bonus coverage for you and your family, you gotta go to Geico! They can save you thousands and you can drive knowing that you're covered."
"Wow! Really? I had better call Geico!"


Do you worry about your mass everyday? Are you eating cardboard to get thin? Go to Subway!_! Our new algae burgers taste great and help you lose weight! Stuff your burger your way! In the mood for meat? Or a healthy green treat? Stay thin by staying away from everything but Subway! We give algae burgers a two thumbs up at Subway!
Subway; Eat Fresh!


Go my way in style with the new B.M.W! With more light years per gallon than any other of its kind, This new vehicle will not only save money for you, but it's comfortable, too! Call now and get $5,000 cash back! This offer is for a limited time only.


Entertainment

Comics